Rabu, 22 Oktober 2008

Do you exist just to exist? Do you feel your "existence"? Do you DO exist?

So. I am clumsy. As far, I have tripped off my own feet for... let's say eighth times since I first took exam to enter UI. All have been resulting in my left ankles, left to be sore and swollen. Big, for the first time. And then I had to be massaged by a masseur, THEN I tripped for the second time, and had to be massaged again.

Even though the second massage wasn't as hurt as the first was, still, let's say, I don't want to cry over the pain again. Different pain, maybe, but not that one.

And then I tripped for the third time, and as swollen as it seemed to be (and it was) I decided to ignore it and walk my way to the chores training in the university.

...wait. Have you read the title? No? Well, look again to the title, and read the over the paragraphs above. See the connection? No? Well, you might know what I will say next, so here: Neither do I.

But then again, I've just started to say it.

So, then. Slightly unconnected idea: A friend of mine once asked: "Do you EXIST?"

It's hard to say it in English, but the exact meaning here is that EXIST as in "active" part, not passive one.

Do you relish in it? Do you BREATHE every breath you take in and out? Do you THINK your thoughts? Do you taste and EAT everything you have eaten? Do you FEEL your emotions? Do you LIVE your life? Do you EXIST in your existence?

Do you STEP your feet to the ground? (See? It's connected after all. It's not a waste you clicky clicky. ^^)

Actually, that friend only asked this: "When you read a book, do you DO read the book? By all your conscience?"

With every move of your finger, every sound of rustling pages, every smell your breath took in?

And so, I made a conclusion that I have to actually become exist on my own, especially about the "every step I make" thing.

It worked.

Well, except that sometimes I made a scenarios of "what if"s in my head then it really happened, mainly because I think about it.

Thus, the seventh and eighth trip-over-foot thing.

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